God has brought me through so much and He is bringing me through this too.

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More About Delaine Shay

Delaine Shay is an author, speaker and grief educator who shares her own life stories, in a personal, conversational manner, to lead women into hope, inspiration, and the joy and faith they need to experience freedom in Jesus Christ.  

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I grew up in Trent, a small town in South Dakota; the population was two hundred, counting cats and dogs. My family attended a small country church and I attended twelve years of Sunday school. An older sister also lives here in Sioux Falls, South Dakota and my younger sister resides in Des Moines, Iowa. My parents, oldest sister and my brother are in heaven. My husband of over thirty-eight years died of complications with dementia on March 25, 2021. 

Currently I am a student of David Kessler's Grief Education Certification program. When I was almost three my only brother who was four-years-old died under the wheels of an elevator grain truck driven by our dad. It happened across the dirt road from our home. Two weeks later Mom had emergency surgery for a large tumor on an ovary which gratefully was benign. Many other traumas and deaths happened throughout my childhood and early adult life. Following an uncle dying by suicide, I began to drink to try to feel better; I was sixteen years old. The solution I thought would help me turned against me and an addiction to alcohol trapped me.  I believed in God, that Jesus came to save me but the Holy Ghost--that scared me. I didn't have the feeling, though, that God was walking with me and even thought that my faith was real but I felt like living on earth was to dodge one mine field (floods, housefire, injury) after another until one day I would be in heaven with Jesus and my brother Billy.

On October 3, 1986 I had a life-changing event when it was revealed to me that I was an alcoholic. The heavy load on my shoulders dropped and I could see with more clarity than I ever had before. I shared the discovery with my husband and a best friend. The next morning, I awoke at six o'clock with the sensation of being held like a baby in my heavenly Father's arms.  It was a beautiful, comforting sensation and I relive it each time I talk about it.  I immediately began attending Twelve Step meetings and God has used me to work with other women, helping them to also gain freedom in order to have a personal relationship with God. My relationship with Christ has been inspiring to others as I tell my story of how God took the messes of my life and made a message to glorify Him.

I have had numerous back surgeries as well as other health challenges that have eventually further grounded me in my faith. I am an active member of my church; I am trained as a Stephen Minister, have led grief groups and co-taught Joy of Living Bible studies and am the Addiction Ministry Coordinator. Growing in my faith has always been important even in the dark days when I didn't understand how the Holy Spirit lives in me to empower me to be the person God intended for me all along.

I attended X-ray school when I was seventeen and several years later injured my back which led to four lumbar surgeries. Unable to return to working as a Radiologic Technician, I worked hard for a BA in Health & Hospital Services at Augustana University. I then was employed as a nursing home administrator and a Medical Clinic Manager until I had another back injury. I have been knocked down many times but with the strength of God I have persevered and have strived to be of maximum service to God. I attended the North American Baptist Seminary fulfilling thirty-two credits until a health challenge caused me to surrender and get the rest that I needed. 

 I am a Certified Spiritual Director and I have sought Spiritual Direction for over thirty years. Currently I am in a Spiritual Supervision Group to aid my growth and to help other women in theirs. I have been instrumental in helping start four women's recovery groups and I sponsor (mentor) several women on their recovery journey. Listening to Fifth Steps has also been part of my service. 

In October of 2018 my book And Then, We Laughed a Memoir of Hope & Healing was self-published. Speaking at retreats and other events has been life-giving and afterwards people have come to me to share sacred parts of their stories. As I wrote my memoir, I chose to go through all the grieving that I wasn't able to attend because there was one trauma after another. It was grueling and I walked away knowing that grieving needs to be intentional because if it isn't it will come out in some other unhealthy way. It was a messy time in my life as I strived for healing. And it was Joyous!  Joyous because I had the privilege of experiencing God's further healing power and to grow even closer to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I have been called to tell my story.  God has helped me through so much and He continues to help me each day, moment by moment.