Posted by: Annmarie Fontanez on 07/30/2016
FRIENDSHIP - If you have ever lost a great friend to sickness and disease; you will know, the heartbreak that is left behind when you think of her or him. These friends you know, will never come again. I lost a great person who happened to have been a great friend. She was a spiritual woman of God, she was intelligent and educated, she had a sense of humor, she loved everyone and expected nothing in return. She was an Evangelist after God’s heart. Every day I recall a moment being with her.
When you have lost a friend that meant so much. You go on missing this person for a very long time. Until the mercy of God intervenes and simmers our cry in the heart. And you are left just simply with the memory. The memory of a cup of coffee or tea you shared together, perhaps sharing spiritual things in your relationship with God. The memory of her voice saying “You look so beautiful today, even if it was a bad day she somehow may it seem brighter. What are you doing, can I ask you something? Though those moments are simplistic they were the key to our friendship. My friend would say as she cocked her head, “When I grow up I want to be just like you”. I just laughed with her and told her she was crazy like girls do, you know what I mean?
I tell you this, severed relationships are very painful. And oftentimes, we become angry at those we once were so close to. We become irate over what she or he said or what she/he didn't say. We demand things from them that only God can give us. We place friendships on pedestals, and when they crumble and fall we get angry because they fail. We get outraged at them because they did not deliver in the manner how we thought it should be.
In life, we have acquaintances by the dozens, but true friendship, in a lifetime, perhaps one or two. If we ever had a true friend, we know their absence makes such a difference. We meet people in our journey from every walk of life; and how beautiful is that.
Many lives cross our path, some you are drawn to, and others not so much. We find that within the course of time we meet branches, we meet roots, and we meet leafs as friends. Those lives we meet become one or the other. See, a branch has a specific meaning. A branch is going to be one you can lean on to hold you up whenever it is necessary. When the divorce came, they were there, when sickness came, they were there, when the heat came they were there. They have always been there. The branch can be trusted to tell you of your errors in love and guides you to making better choices. However, the root will define whether it has come to be permanent or not. Where hail and brimstone, cannot ever remove them. Nothing in this life can separate you. Distance has no demarcation in your friendship. A celebration they are there with you. There has never been a strain, ever, just support in all that you are, always cheering you on. And then we have the leaf. The leaf comes in a season, they bloom, shows its colors, and then blows away in the wind as fast as they arrived. Oftentimes, you never see them again.
Whatever the friendship we may have been blessed to have; if there has been friction in a branch or in a root friendship, if it is not right today there is still time to make it right.
One of the worst things in life is regret. Regret often comes late and never offers the opportunity to fix anything. If you have a branch of a friendship, then be a branch. If you have a root of a friendship, then be un-moving and un-shaking and never change. If you've had leafs in your friendship, let them go, they were never intended to say.
Perhaps there is a friend you are thinking about right now. If you are angry at her or him know that they possibly may not know why you are distant and so far away. If there were disagreement, then the word of God speaks about that: “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any, even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye” Col 3:13).
Since we have not yet arrived as the elect of God, and we are not as spiritual as we ought to be developing divine virtues; then we must be forbearing and forgiving towards anyone who has hurt us. We ourselves retain flaws, deficiencies as well as weaknesses. Hence, it is a necessity to forgive. “God and man exist one for the other and none is satisfied without each other” (Awtozer)
Don't be afraid to confront your friend “perfect love cast out all fear”. If it has been a while, do not text, repeat… do not text. Pick up your phone and just say, Hello, I was thinking about you. How are you doing? You will be surprised that they have thought about doing the same thing. But one has to have the courage to want to mend things. And the desire and love to stop being without them.
There are times in life when you will not get that occasion, to say anything at all. To forgive and be forgiven. You may discover that at times is really far too late on this lifetime. Whatever you do, however, you will do it, just fix it, just make it right. Make it right before God and make it right before man. The truth is this, the relationship may not be the same. But there will be peace within you. You can make new history. Should it return as if it were never tarnished, then treated as gold.
If by any chance your call was not received, let your conscience and your heart be clean. If you waited too long and now they are gone, and you did not forgive them when they were alive; let it be a lesson that life is a gift. And you are still living in yours. They took with them what was yours, forgiveness.
“Episodes” of Life - Friendship - Copyright 2012 - Annmarie Fontanez
